Teen again?
by sez101
Summary: Rewrite of my other story, hopefully better, Sam as a teenager with issues and hormones
1. Chapter 1

Sam Carter lay under the machine it was complex its grey exterior had no markings, no symbols, nothing! In fact she had taken an hour just to find the control panel, this was like nothing she had ever saw.

Meanwhile the rest of her team weren't so luckily, Daniel had quickly got bored declaring there was nothing for him to translate; consequently he and Teal'c had gone searching for any other signs of civilisations amongst the planets clusters of trees.

Jack was playing with his yo-yo 'supervising' leaning against a wall nearby.

The UAV had shown a very green planet, grass stretched as far as the eye could see, trees were grouped together in small clusters. In one such cluster it had shown energy signatures, hence why Sg1 had been sent out to investigate, arriving they had checked out 2 metres high and 5 wide the circular device, it had giving up none of its secrets that was until Sam had pressed a small dent, a small panel had opened after carefully inspection Jack had allowed her underneath to inspect the inner workings of crystals that made up the machine,

"Carter you done yet" A bored voice called

I'd only been here for about an hour and I needed a lot more time after all it was totally new technology to me. Anyway who was he to complain, I still hadn't fully forgiven them after the Orlin incident, not one of my friends had backed me up all just presuming that I was crazy, but I had a duty at the moment to do my job no personal feelings were allowed.

Frustrated I yelled back

"Sir, I am dealing with a totally alien technology here, I never encountered anything like this, ever, and you expect me to do this in an hour, I need more time and quiet Sir" I ranted realising belatedly I may have overstepped the mark,

"So another hour" he asked, I didn't bother to answer, instead I focused on the mass of flashing lights, wires, crystals and metal in front of me. I noticed that one area seemed hotter than the others, summarizing it must be the power source I reached to grab a sample, with my touch it seemed to light the device up, everything started buzzing, bright white light caused me to squint, faintly I heard yelling it sounded like Colonel O'Neill,

"Sir" I responded wondering vaguely why my voice sounded so quiet, then the pain began I screamed, until the welcoming blackness claimed me.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up to see 3 people walking around arguing; I didn't recognise any of them, what had happened? I remembered the last thing I could, the party, and the drugs no wonder I felt so bad. Was this a hallucination if it was it was pretty vivid. I was lying of the floor around me was a clump of trees and a weird device, they were dressed in green military BDU's I realised I was too they were massive for my small size, I'd always been small for my size, something that was so annoying, and green was so not my colour, feeling distinctly at a disadvantage with the strangers who hadn't noticed I was awake, I decided to speak a bubble of fear taking over.

"Who are you?" I asked shuffling back clutching at my pants to hold them up which were now massive for me, the faces of 3 stranger's changes into shock and concern they stepped back raising there arms in a defensive gesture showing that they weren't holding any weapons.

"Who are you?" I repeated, backing away hitting a tree, with no escape route I looked frantically around hoping one would just jump out at me, no such luck. Damn.

"Sam, it's ok we are friends" the one with glasses stepped forwards his blue eyes begging for understanding I didn't know why but I felt I could trust him, still I edged to my left just in case. I had no idea where we were or who they were but he said we were friends, it made no sense.

"We won't hurt you" he tried coming a step closer.

"How did you know my name? Where am I? Who are you?" I screamed the questions whizzing around in my head, hoping this dream would go away I stepped back anyway, through a parting in the trees.

"Sam, I'm Colonel O'Neill, this Dr Daniel Jackson and this is Teal'c, we are currently on another planet, and we know you're um dad" the old guy said I was instantly suspicious what was dad up to now, was this his idea of a joke, punishment? It would be just like him to do something like this to teach me a lesson.

"How did I get here? I remember being at home…." I trailed off deciding what I was doing at home would not be a good idea to mention, somehow I don't think they have approved especially with Colonel O'Neill being military, he would defiantly tell dad who would promptly kill me.

"Sam how old are you?" the one he had called Daniel asked,

"14, Why?" If they were friends of dads surely they would know, then again did dad know how old I was? He hadn't sent me a birthday card. It was like I was dead to him.

"No reason, come on lets go back to earth" Daniel said reaching his hand out.

"Earth, you mean we are in space that is so cool" I muttered wondering idly why my delusions had taken me here but then I did really want to go to space,

"It is, lets go home" Daniel offered his hand I think it's meant as a sign of trust, I ignore it I have no reason to trust these people, the tall black guy follows me closely, like my shadow, I feel a strange tingle shudder down my spine as he approaches ignoring it for now I carry on walking in the awkward silence, thinking things over.

"What kind of name is Teal'c anyway?" I ask I can't help but be curious my subconscious has really come up with a strange dream, but I get the feeling I'm not dreaming I dismiss it, drugs could give you serious hallucinations but this didn't appear like one, but I never knew.

"It means strength; I was given it by my father" I was intrigued but we arrived a some metal ring, around the edge were symbols engraved into it,

"What is this?" I asked

"A stargate" Daniel replied

"Which is?" I prodded, I caught Colonel O'Neill give a slight shake of his head, he didn't want me to know, I felt my anger rise, Teal'c had dialled I noticed the symbols on the thing he was pressing matched those in the gate, and the Stargate's ring was moving, then a flash of blue water whooshed out I felt the power as I moved towards it mesmerised, I touched it my hand went through into the blue water,

"Wow, it must take so much energy" I thought, going back to my physics lessons, not realising I said it aloud until I heard them laugh. I frowned; I didn't like being laughed at. Daniel had gone through, curious to where he had gone I followed, surprised to find myself on the other side in a military facility, with Uncle George at the bottom I knew now this had to be dad I didn't know how he had done it but he must have somehow, but why?

"Sam?" he asked stepping towards me I stepped back unsure of what was happening the armed guards following my movements around the room with their guns. I put my hands up uneasily.

"Uncle George what's going on, where am I?" I asked deciding to ignore the guns instead running to hug him, he returned the hug ruffling my hair as he did so, I smiled at the familiar gesture. I wondered why he looked so old maybe he was ill although it had been 6 months since I'd last seen him.

"Colonel O'Neill what went on here?" he asked the greying man.

"Um, Daniel can you take Sam to the infirmary" he asked not wanting to talk in front of me,

"But I'm not sick" I told him surprised, although I felt dizzy and was still not sure this wasn't a hallucination but I didn't need a doctor. I guiltily remembered the drugs maybe they did know. I hid my fear I could fake this.

"We know but this device well it's experimental so everyone needs a check up after they go through it" Jack explained, I instantly felt relieved they didn't sound like they knew,

Reluctantly I followed Daniel, ignoring everyone looking at me like I was a freak, it was nothing new I was use to it from school. At school I was the geeky rebel whose mum had died, here I didn't know what I was to these people or even how I got here, but they still looked at me like I was a freak. It was just really weird maybe freaks had a smell or look only non freaks could see. Daniel stopped when we arrived at what must be the infirmary judging by the medical stuff we were greeted by a small red haired doctor, she was only small, a bit bigger than me, she greeted me with a smile

"Hey Sam, I'm Janet, if you'd follow me and sit here" she led me to the corner and I sat on a bed, she listened to my chest and checked my pupils, she looked suspiciously at me, my heart clenched she knew, or at least suspected.

"Ok just need some bloods" she said reaching for my arm I pulled it out of her reach,

"Whoa no way I don't like needles" I yelled jumping off the bed, and moving away from the big needles towards the door, armed guards came round the corner.

"No way" I repeated there was no way she was testing my blood, I knew the coke would show up, they'd have to tell dad and I would be so dead, murdered hung out to dry.

"Sam, we need to make sure your ok" Janet said patiently moving towards me, she so knew and was being careful, her eyes gave it away.

"No way" I backed towards the door a second guard appeared. I edged away from the doctor or the armed guards preparing to run. I was counting on them not shooting a defenceless kid. The big black guy Teal'c appeared grabbing me lifting me clean off the floor preventing me from running, I felt a strange tingling like back on the planet, this made me struggle harder knowing something wasn't right,

"Let me go," I struggled uselessly trying to escape Janet signalled him to put me on the bed, he did and moved away I knew there was no way to escape, Janet stood at the bottom of the bed arms crossed I knew that look she was pissed off, I'd seen it in dad so many times normally coupled with disappointment hers was more understanding,

"Now that you can't escape, want to tell me what that was about?" she asked.

"No" I muttered, it didn't work Janet's face remained stern, impassive I knew she wasn't going to back down, damn.

"I can always sedate you and take a blood sample" she threatened I weighted up my options I could tell she was deadly serious.

"Fine but they all got to go, and you got to promise not to tell dad" I told her firmly pointing at all the guards and Tingly Teal'c,

"Deal" the airmen including Teal'c left the room. I could tell they were waiting just outside. There was no escape.

"I snuck out last night and went to a party, I met some people and might have taken something I shouldn't have" I muttered I could feel myself blush in shame

"What?" her expression softened and her concerned look grew as she re took my pulse.

"Just some coke"

"Do you know how dangerous it is, Sam you could have died, drugs are really dangerous, Sam, coke is addictive, Jesus how could you have been so stupid" I rolled my eyes I heard this lecture before from a teacher. I did not need it from a stranger,

"What do you care? Who are you? What am I doing here?" I yelled my frustrations coming to the surface. She knew nothing about me, she didn't know how the drugs let me forget for a while and feel numb, I wanted to get back her, my words striking a cord as she flinched,


	3. Chapter 3

"Sam, we are friends" she shouted back at me losing her temper

"I don't even know you, you don't care, you're just like everyone else, nobody gives a Fuck about me, nobody," I screamed tears streaming down my face, again her expression softened into the sympathetic one I was so use to seeing off everyone, I wiped the tears away furiously with myself for crying, trying to regain control of my emotions remembering what dad would say, 'Carters don't cry' he hadn't even cried when mum died or at her funeral, I had never seen him cry ever.

"Sam you are loved, you're mum and dad, Mark, they love and care about you"

"Riiiiiight" I replied she obviously wasn't a close friend of the family or she would have known about mum,

"Why wouldn't they? she asked curiously, I sighed wondering where to start

"You wouldn't understand?"

"Try me" I sighed, trying to think of the best way to start, I could tell she was stubborn and wouldn't let this drop

"Janet, have you ever woken up in a library after going to sleep and nobody seeing you and nobody noticing at home? Have you ever been taken to hospital and have nobody notice and visit even though you were there for over a week? Have nobody care about you? Gotten exam results back and excitedly run home remembering nobody will care, because nobody is there" Janet pulled me into a hug I numbly returned it I hadn't told these things to anyone,

"Where is your mum?" the pain rose from my heart stabbing me, the tears returned

"She died, in a car accident about 6months ago" I whispered not trusting myself enough to speak anymore 'Carters don't cry' I repeated as my mantra

"Your dad"

"Haven't seen him since the funeral, he went overseas on a mission in the gulf overseeing something, I don't really know, he didn't want to be with us," I shrugged not really caring,

"And Mark…." She prodded

"Well, he is meant to be looking after me but he is with umm I think its Claire, this week, I don't see him much he gets angry if I stay in the house too long I'm disrupting the atmosphere" I quoted, shrugging, I grown use to it

"So what do you do?" she asked

"School, library, my friends take me out, they said coke would help me forget and chill out a bit they think I'm too up tight cus I do well at school but I don't have anything else to do but work, so I took some to prove I could be cool before it helped I felt lighter, better, actually alive, so I took some more a lot more, then I think I passed out on the bathroom floor, I remember being happy there was a white light, I was about to join mum, then I woke up here" I looked around wishing I'd died, and wondering if anyone would have noticed

"What about when you ended up in hospital before?"

"I went out got drunk, got into a fight with someone, got a concussion broke my arm, I ended up in hospital woke up 2days later, nobody had asked after me, nothing the staff didn't even know my name, I waited for 5 days till I could stop throwing up, and stand then I discharged myself and left, hey I have no cast" I realised flexing my arm it felt a lot better still slightly sore but better,

"Oh God, when was that?" she asked the sympathetic look returning

"Um, about 4weeks ago"

"Ok Sam I'm going to have to take your blood now, to check if the drug is still there and re-x-ray your arm and head"

"Alright, if you promise dad won't find out" that was my single worst fear ever disappointing my dad,

"Deal"

I held out my arm as she withdrew vial after vial of blood, then she released my arm telling me too rest and that she would be back soon and in the meantime I'd be taken for my x-rays, the porter soon came wheeling me away, my arm though still sore felt a lot better I was returned to my bed and left I felt tired, it soon overtook me as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to Janet shaking me

"What" I grumbled opening my eyes slightly

"You still have some drugs in your system I want you to drink this it will make you throw up and hopefully purge your system"

"Aww" I moaned, her look shut me up she was not amused

"Ok, ok jees" I took the black mixture it tasted foul I instantly started retching Janet grabbed a bowl and started to rub my back as I threw up again and again drinking the mixture then re-throwing up

"Ok I think that's enough" She finally said removing her hand from my back it was funny I missed it, it had been a long time since anyone had touched me in a loving manner, I dropped back onto the bed closing my eyes, she sat next to me stroking my hair

"That feels nice" I whispered

"I have a daughter your age she'd never let me do this" she whispered back

"She doesn't know how lucky she is" I whispered back quietly, I almost felt jealous of her daughter and wished I was her daughter, suddenly feelings of guilt overwhelmed me, I knew I had to stop this as I was betraying mum I shouldn't think these things, so sitting up I hurriedly pushed her off, climbing off the bed into the corner bringing my knees up, covering my face with my hands, I couldn't do this to my mum I was an awful daughter, she was dead I wasn't allowed to love anyone cus it hurt too much to let them go,


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't notice her come over until she put her arm round me, she sat in silence next to me, it was comfy but I still felt guilty,

"So what is up?" she asked finally

"Nothing" I mutter not wanting to tell her fighting the tears

"Sam something is wrong I can tell, the tears kinda give it away" I wiped them away I was a Carter we didn't cry,

"So? You don't know me" I told her, pushing her away, she came back persistently

"I know but I'm learning" she told me with a smile

"Please I don't want to talk about it" I asked her begging her, hoping she'd understand

"Ok, you but you do need to sleep" she helped me up and walked me to a nearby bed this time she didn't stroke my hair standing back watching from the door, I felt myself drift off until I heard voices by the door

"How is she?" it sounded like Uncle George he had looked old earlier he sounded it now worry was evident on his voice,

"Emotionally she seems a wreck, there was a high level of drugs in her system consistent with her memories and also Naquidia it seems a combination of 14year old Sam, and our Sam her x-rays show a small break in her wrist, not consistent with a 4 week break, and the drugs weren't at a very dangerous level"

"I remember Sam at 14, I remember that night she overdosed, I got a call from my frantic daughter she was also in with the bad crowd, I think Daisy introduced her to them, anyway Sam was unresponsive on a bathroom floor, I drove her to the hospital and carried her in my own arms, she was so thin so light I was so scared she wouldn't wake up, I didn't know what Jake would do if he lost his daughter as well as his wife, needless to say she survived and we had a long talk, we got everything sorted, her feelings, the neglect, I thought Mark was looking after her better, heck I thought Jacob would have made sure she was ok, I got Jake recalled he wasn't happy but with help he realised his responsibility to his family and got an office job more 9-5. I dread to think what would have happened if she hadn't made it."

I sat in silence, I remembered none of this, why, why was I the only child around here, why did everyone know I me but I didn't know them, what was that strange device why had I ended up on a strange planet, I had so many questions I knew they wouldn't answer, they had moved away from the door I knew this was my chance, I got up I was in a stupid gown that showed my butt nearby was a cupboard it contained linen I grabbed the scrubs and changed they were still too big, then snuck out there were no guards that I saw, I reached an office and ducked inside hopefully it would give me some answers, a newspaper on the side of the desk headlined

"US soldiers killed in Iraq" I read it, feeling sick I checked the list, please God let dad be ok, there was no Colonel Carter listed the relief was immense the icy chill that had engulfed my heart receded until the date caught my eye,


	5. Chapter 5

23rd January 2003 was next to the title it wasn't possible, I sank to the floor the newspaper still clutched in my hand, I fought back the tears again, the door opened I sank behind the desk,

"Sam, I know your in here" I recognised the voice it was Janet, the anger within me rose it was time to find out the truth, I stood up crossing my arms.

"Yes Doctor"

"Good you've had most the base looking for you" She said relieved

"Your point" I looked her in the eye it was home truth time

"Who am I?"

"Samantha Carter" she replied giving me a surprised look

"I know but I'm not your Samantha Carter am I?" I asked dreading the answer; she looked at me then sighed, deciding on the truth

"No, you're a younger version of our Samantha Carter, you have an anomaly in your blood work that you didn't have at 14, but still have the drugs its like you were combined together" She explained

"So how you gonna fix this" I kept my voice calm devoid of all the fear building inside,

"We are not sure, you see our Sam didn't mention visiting us leading us to believe it is DNA manipulation, somehow our Sam was turned into a combination of her and you so we now are working on why and how we change it back"

"What is going to happen if you can't?"

"We don't know yet hopefully it won't come to that" she replied

"So what now?" I asked fearing the answer

"Bed, you have had a long day" she took my hand I let her, the betrayal feeling returned

"I shouldn't be doing this" I whispered a tear escaping running down my cheek, she stopped walking

"Why?" she asked just as quietly

"I feel like I'm betraying her," my voice broke the tears coming more regularly

"Why?" she asked again stepping closer

"Cus I'm having fun" I whispered closing my eyes to try and prevent the onslaught of tears,

"Sam would your mum want you to be miserable"

I thought about it, mum was the most fun loving person ever, whenever I was upset she had always cheered me up saying be being sad was a waste of a smile, thinking about my mum I realised I was smiling it hadn't hurt the aching painful feeling I felt clench my heart lifted a little

"No I guess not" I conceded her point she laughed hugging me,

"Good, now bed, come on" she dragged back to the infirmary, I lay down and closed my eyes

"Night Sam" she whispered

"Night Janet" my eyelids became heavy I closed them


	6. Chapter 6

Light intruded on my dreams, groggily I opened my eyes

"Hey Sam, tired?" a male voice said I recognised him

"Doctor Jackson right" I asked sitting up,

"Yes, I brought you some clothes I thought it may be more comfy"

"Thanks" I sat up taking the bag inside was a pair of jeans, black combat trousers, there were several tops, one olive green, blue, red, pink, then there were underwear and socks, and 2jackets, a leather one and a brown one, I instantly loved the leather one, the shoes were trainers white nikey

"Excuse me I'm going to get changed" I told him blushing, I looked down remembering I was still in scrubs Daniel regarded them curiously but said nothing sheepishly I smiled,

"I'll wait here, then we can get breakfast ok" I belatedly realised how hungry I was, and nodded taking the bag to the nearby toilet, after showering I chose the jeans, surprisingly they fit, then the red t-shirt and the leather jacket checking my reflection I looked ok, the trainers were a little tight but I'd worn worse, Daniel was waiting outside,

"Hi" I greeted him

"Ready?" he asked

"Yep sure let's go" the silence was awkward neither of us saying anything, walking down the corridors ignoring the whispers and stares followed me

"So you married?" I asked desperate to start a conversation

"Yes," the one word answer confirmed what I knew this making conversation was going to be difficult,

"Cool what's her name?"

"Shar'e"

"That's a nice name unusual,"

"Yes it is" a dreamy smile drifted across his face

"Do you have any kids?"

"No" he replied vehemently I stopped walking, scared I'd over stepped the mark

"I'm sorry" I whispered worried what he was going to do, most of dad's friends ignored me with the exception of Uncle George I think that was because I was friends with his daughter, the rest of dads friends would have yelled at me, some would have hit me, all were military, Daniels expression softened he came over I backed away deciding if I should run

"No, I'm sorry Sam, it's a touchy subject you see my wife was abducted I couldn't save her, she was pregnant at the time, I lost my child, she is still out there somewhere" his eyes watered over

"That's so sad, if it's any help you would have made a great dad" I told him genuinely you could tell he appreciated it,

"Thanks" he carried on walking as if nothing had happened I followed behind worried the switch had been scary I could see the inner turmoil whizzing around inside him matching my own

Arriving the food was inedible I walked past the boring drab food until I caught something blue at the end skipping the rest of the food I took 3 blue Jell-O's and sat down on my own, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c joined my smiling at my choice

"Is my food funny" I asked

"Nope" Jack returned

"Okay" I didn't believe him; Janet joined us sitting down opposite me

"Hello Sam how are you today?" she asked lightly

"Ok" I replied

"Sam what's that on your plate" she asked

"Jell-o" I told her wondering where this was going and why she had asked after all it was fairly obvious,

"Do you think Jell-o is a nutritious breakfast for a growing 14year girl" she asked arms folded

I keep silent, anger building nobody had told me what or when to eat since mum was alive since then nobody cared if I did or not, I had been known to skip days of meals, I found eating so boring I preferred to be reading or doing something, consequently I knew I was underweight,

"Well?" she asked her voice rising, everyone else was looking in interestedly at our conflict,

"Probably not, but it was the only thing edible. Anyway, what do you care?"

"I'm your doctor" she replied calmly my anger hit boiling point at everyone assuming I would be like the other Sam, I exploded it didn't happen often but when it was spectacular

"No you're not I met you yesterday, I have no idea who any of you are, I'm not even sure who I am any more just leave me alone and butt out of my life"

I screamed at them aware of everyone looking at me I ran, nobody tried to stop me though I could hear someone shout stop, I didn't know where I was going till I found an elevator, I jumped inside pressing the top number 14, inside I was alone I wanted to go home, this place was freaking me out big time, the lift beeped and opened, I walked out calmly like I belonged, nobody looked at me weird, then I found another elevator figuring it was worth a try I pressed 1 coming out on the surface, the sun was out even though it was freezing, a guard walked over

"We need you to sign out" he told me

"Ok" I took the clipboard signing it Susan Pearson so he wouldn't get too suspicious he took it back I walked off to some trees in the distance before he could say anything, the gates were open guards either side, I didn't know if I was allowed to leave or not but I suspected I wasn't, I stood debating what to do, I knew I should go back and face the music after all they seemed to be the ones with the answers, instead I walked a short way away to think, I didn't notice a man coming up behind me I didn't recognise him but something inside screamed I don't trust him at all but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt after all I knew nobody,


	7. Chapter 7

"Hello Samantha"

"It's Sam" I told him

"So the rumours were true,"

"Depends on the rumours" I shrugged not wanting him to think I cared

"What you doing"

"Standing, thinking" I told him

"My name is Maybourne Colonel Maybourne"

"That's nice" it didn't mean anything to me

"I need your help we have some technology we need you to help us with" he stepped closer his body language and face screaming danger

"Why me?" I tried to seem non-committal but I felt scared I wanted to run but my feet wouldn't move,

"You have something in your blood the devices need to work" he smirked making me feel uncomfortable, I knew it wasn't the coke I mean everyone did that,

"The Naquidia" I asked backing away

"Yes" he nodded

"No" I told him backing further away, his face changed really scaring me,

"Shame I was hoping you'd be willing never mind we will do it the hard way"

I found my feet and ran for it, something hit me in the thigh I pulled it out it was a tranquiliser dart, my legs were numbing my vision blurring but I was determined to carry on running and escape the guards weren't far now running towards me about 200 metres across the car park I shouted for help feeling another hit me in the arm again I pulled it out feeling even more lethargic, I spotted Janet, Jack and Daniel running out of the tunnel I screamed for them to notice me, not caring that I was crying,

Daniel noticed me as something hit me again in the thigh near the other one, a van drove up beside me, Daniel started running towards me the others following Jack was barking orders as I felt my legs give my arms wouldn't move enough and I landed face first on the tarmac, my eyes closing I wondered with whom I'd wake up, I really hoped it was Janet and Sg1,


	8. Chapter 8

"Hello Samantha"

"It's Sam" I told him

"So the rumours were true,"

"Depends on the rumours" I shrugged not wanting him to think I cared

"What you doing"

"Standing, thinking" I told him

"My name is Maybourne Colonel Maybourne"

"That's nice" it didn't mean anything to me

"I need your help we have some technology we need you to help us with" he stepped closer his body language and face screaming danger

"Why me?" I tried to seem non-committal but I felt scared I wanted to run but my feet wouldn't move,

"You have something in your blood the devices need to work" he smirked making me feel uncomfortable, I knew it wasn't the coke I mean everyone did that,

"The Naquidia" I asked backing away

"Yes" he nodded

"No" I told him backing further away, his face changed really scaring me,

"Shame I was hoping you'd be willing never mind we will do it the hard way"

I found my feet and ran for it, something hit me in the thigh I pulled it out it was a tranquiliser dart, my legs were numbing my vision blurring but I was determined to carry on running and escape the guards weren't far now running towards me about 200 metres across the car park I shouted for help feeling another hit me in the arm again I pulled it out feeling even more lethargic, I spotted Janet, Jack and Daniel running out of the tunnel I screamed for them to notice me, not caring that I was crying,

Daniel noticed me as something hit me again in the thigh near the other one, a van drove up beside me, Daniel started running towards me the others following Jack was barking orders as I felt my legs give my arms wouldn't move enough and I landed face first on the tarmac, my eyes closing I wondered with whom I'd wake up, I really hoped it was Janet and Sg1,


	9. Chapter 9

I rolled my eyes standing up Cassie was waiting outside,

"Hi" I said nervously waving; she had mousy brown hair and looked slightly older

"Hey Sam" I smiled waiting for her to say something

"We have to stay on base do you want to grab something to eat" she asked

"Sure" I figured it couldn't hurt she led the way I followed her

"So how old are you again" she asked

"14 what about you"

"16"

Arriving I got blue Jell-O an sat down Cassie arrived with 2 trays loaded with food

"Mum gave me the lecture you have to eat more apparently and blue Jell-o doesn't count"

"Whatever" I took the tray shoving food in my mouth not noticing what it was

"Eugh" I stopped at her disgusted look, fork pausing midway,

"What"

"Your eating beans, curry and mash together" looking down it did look horrid, as it had mixed it had taken on a grey-brown colour, with multicoloured lumps

"So" I shrugged, we sat in silence I'd had worse I wasn't exactly known for my cooking to often I'd eaten leftovers before and I'd cooked it in the first place I hate cooking and it hated me,

"Hey want to go to Jack's quarters he has a play station" she offered

"What's a play station?" I asked

"I'll show you" she took my hand pulling me through the corridors of the SGC till we got to a door, she knocked there was no answer so she opened the door and went in, I followed she sat on the bed switching the TV on and grabbing two devices she gave one to me

"This is jump, that's to duck, that's to shoot, use the arrows to direct the character got it"

"Sure", we sat playing for over 3 hours I wasn't too good but Cassie seemed to enjoy it.

"Wow your really improving" she said as I beat her for the 1st time strangely, I felt proud of myself

"Thanks Cass can we get something to eat now?" I asked,

"Sure come on" she dragged me to the lift on the way we encountered to guys in suits whose faces lit up on seeing us,

"Samantha Carter we have been looking for you" I backed away bumping into Cassie who also backed away I felt uneasy these guys gave me the creeps,

"Why?" I asked sounded braver than I felt

"We have a proposition for you" they came forwards,

"What" I tried to sound braver than I was, he took me by the arm dragging me down the corridor, the other stood by Cassie,

"Well"

"Face it Sammie, nobody here wants you if they do have you it will be because Hammond ordered them too, come with us, I promise we won't hurt you, you see we know from your adult self you are talented so we want in now, in return you take a look at some projects for us when your older" the deal seemed fair but I didn't trust him something about his face screamed distrust,

"No" I backed away but he still had my arm in his grasp,

"It would be a shame if Cassie got hurt," he glanced down the corridor to where his sidekick was standing next to Cassie, she was looking at me concerned, the guy lifted his jacket enough to reveal a gun, I got the hint Cassie didn't see,

"Ok whatever, just don't hurt Cassie" he signalled to the guy he smacked her on the head with a pistol, then pushed her into a store cupboard and locked the door

"We don't want her to run and tell now come on" he grabbed me pulling me along the corridor to an empty box

"Get in"

"Huh" I looked at him he looked serious but he couldn't be could he?

"Security has increased since your last attempt" he picked me up and threw me pushing my head down the lid closed with a thunk then a hammering sound began the top of the box vibrated, they were nailing it down, I started screaming banging the top of the box, hating the darkness and being trapped alive, too many horror movies haunted me the volume of the box and my rate of breathing meant I had enough oxygen for 3hours if my calculation's were correct. I panicked even more,

"Shut it or we will hurt your friend" the guy shouted kicking the box I didn't stop

"The more you shout the quicker your oxygen runs out" he reminded me, I calmed down steadying my breathing Carter's didn't cry, Carters didn't cry.


	10. Chapter 10

I lay at an awkward angle in the box, the blackness echoing, in, out, in, out, I really didn't like this but felt that I had little choice in the matter, I couldn't let anyone get hurt because of me that wasn't the Carter way, the crate moved jerking, I could hear footsteps and the 2guys complaining about some General at area 51 requisitioning all these artefacts, I kept quiet, an airman asked them to sign out they continued down the corridor.

"We need to open that for security reasons" one said my heart soared they were going to find me.

"Can't it's sensitive Major Carter would kill us if it got broke" the guard didn't get the irony in the statement, I scowled then realised nobody could see me,

"We will still need to check it" the guard said the weight of the box jerked slightly I heard a gun shot, and then several others returned fire I couldn't tell who was winning, one came into the box hitting me on the upper arm I screamed, I could feel the blood dripping out I remained silent hoping nobody had heard it not wanting Cassie to get hurt, even more gunshots echoed finally I got some answers as I heard Colonel O'Neill's voice and footsteps running towards me,

"What happened?" he asked sounding breathless

"We tried to check the contents of this box" a guard reported

"Well open it" his impatient tone left no room for interpretation,

"Sir I need to get these men to the infirmary" that was Janet I could trust Janet right

"Janet" I said, the room went quiet, then chaos

"Shit open it now" Colonel O'Neill yelled, through the bullet hole an eye appeared it gazed in at me,

"Sam, we will get you out" I realised it was her eye at the hole I could hear hammering someone yelling for a crow bar

"Sam are you ok you weren't hit were you?" she asked I was glad she couldn't see me blushing,

"Umm only once" her eyes was back immediately

"Where?" she asked trying to check me over

"On the arm, its not too bad, Oh god Cassie" I reminded myself her limp body being chucked into the cupboard wasn't something I'd forget in a hurry.

"Where is she?" Janet's stern tone was back she sounded scared and worried I wished she felt like that about me,

"Sam where is Cassie?" her voice brought me out of my musings

"They locked her up in a cupboard downstairs by Colonel O'Neill's quarters I think she was hurt bad" Janet looked torn between the two of us, as I peeped through the hole,

"Go" Colonel O'Neill ordered, she hesitated

"She is your daughter. Go" no more hesitation she left running down the corridor

"Stand clear" he ordered I ducked lower squinting in the light he smiled at me I smiled back he gaze went to my arm,

"Shit Sam, lets get her to the infirmary" he ordered I was hauled out surprised at the amount of people, I was dumped on a gurney and rushed down the corridors, a quick glance at my arm showed blood and a lot of it,

"Whoa" I found myself smile, I was unsure why but shocked at the blood I was losing but fascinated I had never been shot before,

"It's okay Sam" Jack reassured me taking my hand I pulled it, away his face crumpled to a querying expression. I didn't want his pity, not when he thought I was a druggie and only hung around out of sympathy and guilt.

Janet and Cassie weren't there instead was another doctor who introduced himself as Warner, I smiled, he looked at my arm.

"Looks like a flesh wound" he observed

"Well it really hurts" I told him, defending my arm

"I'll x-ray it to make sure there are no fragments of the bullet in your arm then a few stitches and you'll be as right as rain"

"Cool" I said simply lying back on the bed waiting I was wheeled into X-ray then back into the infirmary, Janet and Cassie had arrived, Cassie was lying on a bed at the end unconscious, she had a large bandage on her head, Janet stood by talking to Jack while stroking her hair, Daniel and Teal'c were nearby looking on with concern, Jack was sitting on a chair clutching her hand, no one looked round at my arrival, I found myself getting jealous slightly disappointed nobody had come to see how I was but I was use to hiding disappointment after so much let down by my dad, I lay there smiling at Dr Warner who came back and stitched me up, then he dressed it with an oversized bandage and put it into a sling giving me a shot of antibiotics,

"Can I go now?" I asked the first words I had spoken in a while

"Sure I'll have a guard escort you to quarters for your own safety of course"

"Whatever" I shrugged it didn't bother me I was kind of glad I wouldn't be alone, Teal'c walked over

"May I escort you Samantha Carter" he gave a slight bow with the use of the dreaded name

"Sure 1 condition its Sam, not Sammy or Samantha just Sam" he smiled and lead the way I trotted beside

"Can I ask a question?"

"I believe you just did" he replied raising an eyebrow,

"Well another one"

"Yes"

"Why do I get a funny tingly feeling when I'm around you?" he stopped walking and faced me,

"You have Naquidria in your blood; this reacts with my symbiotie,"

"Symbiotie what's that?"

He continued walking,

"It is a parasitical creature that lives within me in return I receive perfect health and an extended life"

"Wow sounds cool" what I wouldn't give to never have a cold or flue,

"It is not I am solely dependant on this creature for my health, when the creature reaches full maturity it takes a human host, they can be evil called Gould or good called Tok'ra" maybe not I thought

"Hey dad is a Tok'ra" he looked surprised his eyes widening

"Indeed, your older self was possessed by a Tok'ra"

"What happened?" I had to know somewhere in my mind a memory was calling

"The Tok'ra was called Jolinar she jumped into your body without your permission"

"Why"

"Her host was dying"

"Why didn't she ask first" I asked puzzled

"I do not know"

We walked the rest of the way in silence, reaching what I presumed were my quarters he opened the door,

"I will personally ensure your safety" he told me

"Why, its not like anyone cares"

"You are mistaken everyone cares a great deal for your health and safety" he corrected me, I shrugged not wanting to go into it

"Whatever" I went in purposely closing the door so he couldn't follow removing the stupid sling that went into the corner, and going to the bookcase picking up a book on stargate travel that was probably left there by mistake, I sat on the bed and began to read glaring at the security camera as I did so.

I was really getting into the book, when I saw the author, Samantha Carter, that was me, I was so smart, some of my ideas had little evidence but they were probably I could understand why they wanted her back, a knock at the door drew my attention away

"What" I yelled

"Sam it's me Janet can I come in?" she asked,

"Whatever" I called back, the door opened

"Hey how is the arm?"

"Its fine how is Cassie?" I avoided answering too much

"Slight concussion she was asking after you wanted to make sure you were ok"

"Tell her I am fine"

"Why don't you come and tell her yourself" she suggested I looked at her weighing up my options, if I said no it would inevitably lead to more difficult questions, that I didn't want to answer

"Ok" I stood up Janet didn't, I followed her gaze it was looking at my sling, I felt myself blush.

"Sam" she asked,

"Yeh"

"Why aren't you wearing your sling?"

"I don't need it"

"Forgive me if I am wrong but weren't you just shot?" she asked knowing the answer

"Yes but it was threw a big wooden box"

"And wasn't it on the same arm you recently broke"

"Well technically I broke it like 20years ago" I stopped at her scowl,

"Sam" her tone meant trouble

"Ok I'll wear it" I muttered picking up the stupid crappy thing a putting it on moaning under my breath

"Good isn't that better" she gave me a bright smile, I frowned walking out the door towards the infirmary, Janet followed,

"Hey Cassie" she opened her eyes and looked at me relief flooding her face, I felt awkward under her gaze

"Sam thank God you're ok" she looked at me reminding me of Janet the up and down what is she hiding is she really ok look,

"What happened to your arm?"

"I was shot, it is just a flesh wound nothing serious, how are you?" I asked anxiously

"Mum says it is a concussion, how were you shot?" I noticed everyone looking at me a blushed not use to so much attention, Uncle George joined us and I began my tale

"Cassie and I were going to the commissionary to get tea when the lift opened, these 2 guys got out and said they had been looking for me, they dragged me away from Cassie and said if I didn't want them to shoot her then I would go with them, since I figured nobody would miss me and I didn't want Cassie to get hurt cus of me I agreed they put me in this wooden crate as the knocked Cassie out and put her in the cupboard, they got a hammer and started to hammer the lid on and I freaked they said the more I shouted the more oxygen I would use up, I worked out if I rationed the air I could last 3 hours, I heard the guys up top saying they needed to open the box then gun shot, one of which hit me and that's it" I told them greeting silence I lowered my gaze studying the floor.

I shifted feeling uncomfortable as they all took in my report, Janet broke the silence

"Sam why do you feel that nobody here would miss you?"

"I heard you and Colonel O'Neill talking about what would happen if they couldn't change me back, you said nobody wanted me" I didn't meet their gaze as I was determined not to cry, instead I made for the door.

"Sam we didn't mean…." Janet began trailing off, I stopped facing them determined not to let them see my hurt.

"Sure you didn't, its ok, I don't mind just next time tell it to my face" I told them earnestly after all my own family wanted nothing to do with me why would strangers,

"Sam we didn't mean what we said" Janet tried again

"Yes you did you don't want to admit it," I told her walking away

"Carter, what we are trying to say is that we were sorry, we shouldn't have even thought of discussing your future without you there, we shouldn't have doubted that you were clean and we shouldn't have said you would be a bad influence on Cassie" Jack told me

"Right Sir" I carried on walking away not really caring any more, caring only led to hurt and betrayal,

"Damn it Carter that's not really accepting my apology" he told me following me down the corridor,

"Yes Sir"

"And call me Jack your not in the military"

"Yes Jack Sir" I rolled my eyes again trying to leave, he blocked my way

"Sam don't shut us out" he told me

"I'm not you shut me out by talking behind my back and hating me thinking I am I bad influence"

"Yes you are shutting us out, you feel abandoned cus your mum died and your dad abandoned you have learnt the best way not to get hurt is not to let anyone in, that's not a life Sam"

"Whatever" I yelled pushing my way past him and running down the corridor throwing my sling behind me, running to the safety of my room and shutting the door fighting the tears that threatened to fall, Carter's don't cry I repeated again and again,


	11. Chapter 11

"Sam honey, open the door" Janet asked I ignored her, concentrating on holding it back, she pushed again I felt a jolt in my shoulder, as I held against her weight but the pain won and I fell to the floor clutching my arm

"Shit" I cried out, Janet calmly opened the door,

"Happy now" I managed to spit out in between waves of pain

"Ecstatic, I love it when my patients rip out there stitches gives me so much more work" she knelt beside me and took my arm undoing the red soaked bandage

"We need to go to the infirmary" I groaned

"Can't you just leave me alone" I asked, she dropped my arm

"Sure Sam push everyone away close off your heart but first answer 1 question all the good times with your mum was the pain of losing her worth never have meeting her," Janet then left,

I sat numbly on the bed remembering the good times with my mum, then the pain of losing her, was it worth it? I knew I hadn't wanted it to end but at the end of the day I was glad for every day I had spent with my mum and wouldn't give it up for anything no matter what happened next, I couldn't ignore people so they couldn't hurt me, I needed to apologies to Janet and get my arm seen to, it was really hurting I walked out my room to see her leaning against the corridor waiting,

"I'm sorry" I told her,

"I shouldn't have shut you out"

"I'm sorry too I shouldn't have said I didn't want you as my daughter"

"That's ok I understand" I told her, she looks exasperated at me, I decided to change the subject

"Can you sort my arm out it really hurts" I ask she looks at it and my red arm stained with blood, that is still running out of the hole, I can still see tiny splinters of wood in it, and apparently so can Janet,

"Jesus who cleaned this," she asks I shrug not knowing and not wanting to get anyone in trouble

"Right lets go" she leads me down the corridor to the infirmary and sits me on a bed opposite Cassie, I wave,

"You back"

"I tore my stitches, your mum is sorting me out" I tell her, she looks at me

"I know what you are going through"

"Huh"

"Losing your mum, your family, I have been there"

"So" I ask trying to avoid the issue

"You can't push everyone away" she tells me

"Did you lose all your family at once" I ask feeling really sorry for her

"Yeh they were wiped out by the Gould"

"That sucks, what did you do?" I ask wondering if she had any mishaps like I did

"I was alone on an alien world, by my mum's body, Sam helped she reached out to me, then she refused to leave me even when they thought I was going to die. Janet adopted me and spent a lot of time with me, when I woke up from a nightmare she was there, and Daniel, he lost his parents when he was little and was great to talk to as well what about you?" I saw Janet come back in but continued anyway

"When my mum died I threw myself into school, acting like mum just trying to hold us together as a family, but Mark blamed dad and dad blamed himself. Then my dad left us right after the funeral, he is in the gulf and I don't know where or if he is still alive I'm so scarred he is going to do something stupid and get himself killed, Mark ignores me he is only interested in what girl he is going out with, he refuses to even mention dad, he hates me and dad, I don't know why"

I began to cry, but continued

"I kept on working in school so that I wouldn't have to think, I went to the library every night to avoid going home, then the drinking so the pain would deaden, I met some friends who persuaded me if I really wanted to forget then drugs worked even better so I tired coke and it worked deadening everything, so I took loads. Half of me hoped I wouldn't wake up I wanted to be with my mum" I began sobbing the weight of my confession leaving me,

Janet came over and gave me a hug being mindful of my arm,

"Are you saying that you want to die?" She asked in a calm voice, with no judgement in it, I thought about it, not quite sure

"I don't know" I admitted, there was silence as she and Cassie waited for me to continue

"I did, but now I'm not so sure" I looked up expecting to see angry and disappointment, Carter's didn't admit weaknesses, we didn't have feelings we didn't share things, instead I saw understanding and compassion, Janet hugged me again,

"Let's get your arm seen to" she suggested, bringing some tweezers over to pull out the splinters that they missed earlier,

"Ok just pulling it out now" Janet told me, I felt a sharp pain but didn't say anything instead focusing on the equations the stargate must use in the other Sam Carter's book and working out how much power it must used, it was astronomical

"Sam does that hurt" Janet asked her voice indicating she was surprised,

"Huh" I thought about it for a second, trying to remember the number 532195556,

"Yes" 532195556x 450

"What about here"

"Um its fine" I said distractedly trying to remember the numbers as they grew bigger

239488000200

"Sam I know your lying" she told me meaning I lost my concentration and the number escaped me

"Damn"

"Sorry did that hurt"

"Huh, no"

"Are you with us Sam?"

"Sorry I was distracting myself from the pain, and I was thinking about how much power the stargate must use, cus in the book the other me wrote it says the power needed is directly proportional to the length of the whoosh,"

"Whoosh"

"Well the other me called it something different but I prefer whoosh, it describes it better, anyway that means if the power is like 25amps the whoosh would be 25cms but as it was more like 4 and a half metres or 450cms calculating the amps I can estimate how much power it uses, its astronomical, I'd love to measure the Whoosh more accurately across different addresses and see if it varies, I mean surely the power would depend on how far you go"

"Sam breath I'm nearly done"

"I'm sorry its just so exciting to think something like that exists"

"I know its mind blowing" she smiled, I looked at her trying to decided if she was humouring me or not but I couldn't tell

"We are going to keep you overnight make sure there are no signs of infection from those splinters"

"What no fair" I protested, she glared at me,

"At least give me a book to read or some paper so I can note down some figures"

"You need to rest"

"If you don't I do them in my head anyway" I told her shrugging, she began to walk away so I recited the periodical table and as much as I could remember about each atom, like density, rarity, and where it is found, she turned and looked at me

"Sam what are you doing"

"Reciting the periodic table in my head and as much as I can remember about each element"

"I'll sedate you"

"No you won't" I answered back confidently, she folded her arm and rose an eyebrow

"Why won't I"

"Because, you won't sedate someone with a head injury, if I tell you that I bashed my head you won't know if I'm lying or whether I didn't report the injury as I'm not the type who would tell you, you can do an MRI or CT scan but they don't always show up, thus I get no sedative" I smiled knowing I had won this encounter

"And did you bash your head"

"Nope" I answered back she signalled a nurse to get a sedative ready

"Those guys that grabbed me earlier bashed my head" I lied, sedatives were the worst you woke up confused, your body was sluggish to respond, and you had no idea where you were or what people had done when you were asleep, I hated losing that self control

"Sam I need to know?" she warned

"Why so you can put me to sleep, I hate sedative's I'm not having one no way, if I say I have a headache and someone hit me on the head then you can't give me one" I told her refusing to admit it either way

She sighed obviously tired of this game

"Whatever Sam, Cass get your stuff together your coming home with me, I can look after you there" Cassie leapt off the bed and quickly changed into normal clothes,

"Bye Sam,"

"Bye" I responded feeling jealous that Cassie got to leave with Janet and I had to stay here alone

"Sam I will tell a nurse to wake you up every 2 hours checking for a concussion" she told me, I smiled knowing I had won, and sat back relaxing drifting into a light sleep, being woken up every 2 hours,


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up it was 4.30 but I was done sleeping, I crept out of bed, got changed and went towards the office I had been in earlier, the play station weighing on my mind, if they had cool devices like that found entertainment what would they have for practical uses, I was so excited by the thought yet annoyed I hadn't considered it earlier, in the office had been a strange box, I crept up to it. There was a separate box with letters on, I presume it was for typing and the on button wasn't there that I could see, I checked the box itself seeing only 1 button I pressed it and voila it worked, the screen booted up, I waited then found another thing that moved a cursor around on the screen, I clicked start and got a list of functions,

Most seemed pretty self explanatory my pictures, control panel, word, which I guessed was a typing program the one that interested me was internet explorer, what was the internet I clicked it and a box opened on screen, it said search I typed in Einstein's theory of relativity and was amazed, Page 1 of 234,348

So many cool pages I immediately started to read fascinated by the knowledge on this internet, they spoke of satellites I hadn't heard of I was so excited so many things had happened I typed in a new search,

Physics development and again was amazed I was born in 29/12/68. (Entity) which means that in 20years that I couldn't remember so much had happened, I was interrupted by a cough at the door, Janet stood there and looked very pissed off

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep and wanted to see what other stuff was here so I had a look, and discovered the internet" I told her

"Where were you meant to be?"

"Asleep in bed" she looked so pissed off

"Sam you say you have a concussion I don't believe you but if you had fallen, the night nurse was petrified the NID had somehow kidnapped you, half the base was looking" I blushed feeling really guilty

"I'm really sorry I didn't think, normally at home I can do what I want, when I want I'm not use to having to ask permission to do things" I avoided eye contact looking at the floor, I'd messed up again, I was a loser a pathetic nobody they probably didn't want me on base, and Janet would never want to adopt me now. I was distracted from my thought when she came over putting a hand on my good shoulder

"Well just don't do it again ok" I gave a smile but didn't believe it I could tell she was still pissed off at me,

"Ok"

"Right now breakfast time" she took my hand and led me to the commissionary, I went straight for the blue Jell-o, then seeing Janet's scowl went back and grabbed a plate of bacon, beans and scrambled eggs, then went to the table where she was sitting, and dug into the blue Jell-o, Daniel and Jack joined us

"Hey Carter"

"Sir" I replied respectfully

"Call me Jack"

"Yes Sir" I responded not sure, in my family you always addressed somebody by rank apart from my dad and Uncle George,

"No JACK it's my name"

"Yes Sir" I looked at him baffled, secretly amused but not giving anything away,

"Is it so hard to call me Jack" he asked

"Yes Sir, you see Sir is a sign of respect for you position as Colonel and my senior, therefore in a military base I should address you a sir or Colonel O'Neill" I responded to the laughter of Daniel and Janet, I frowned trying to work out why,

"Anyway you call me Carter, which whilst it is my surname, as my dad is in the military he would be addressed as Colonel Carter, or to his superiors as Carter, therefore as a civilian you should call me Sam"

"Okay" Jack looked at the others for support

"Don't look at me she calls me Dr Jackson"

"It is appropriate to call someone by their salutation when they have worked so hard to earn it" I replied, Jack burst out laughing I looked at him puzzled feeling very hurt, Janet and Daniel gave him funny looks too,

"Sorry Sam but you say nearly the same thing to me when we first met, and well um never mind" feeling even more puzzled I let him off

"Whatever" I shrugged, as an alarm blared overhead


	13. Chapter 13

"Medical team to the gate room" Janet stood up leaving at run Jack and Daniel close behind, I sat there then pushed the yucky food away going back to the counter and getting 3 more cups of blue Jell-O,

I ate them waiting, but no one returned, bored I went to find them but Janet's warning this morning made me think, I went to a near by airman

"Excuse me are you on duty" he nodded

"If Dr Frasier, Colonel O'Neill or Dr Jackson come looking for me tell them I went to look around and if they need me to page me on the intercom and I will come right away" he nodded, with that taken care of I went to explore, first the lift and I picked a random floor 18, I got out and walked along it all looked the same grey dull boring, then I could hear sounds of an argument

"No you don't you do this" getting nearer I could hear the problem

"Actually you are both wrong" I told them pretty confident as I had read it last night

"If you reverse the charge on A and add in a buffer it should eliminate the problem"

"And who are you", he looked angry, but I held my ground

"Sam Carter and you are?"

"Doctor Felger" he emphasised the DR I rolled my eye

"Whatever but try it, I'm right" the other man came over

"How do you know?"

"I read it, last night it was in a book by me, well the other me,"

"Well we are going to discuss this, why don't you have a look around your lab" he offered, I shrugged it could be fun, he opened the door using a pass key, and left me there, I looked around it was all covered in paper and equipment in the corner was a safe, I tried it surprisingly it was locked, I tired numbers, none worked then I tried the day I overdosed and it sprung open inside were weird glove things, I put one on, then concentrated, a small light appeared

"Wow" I muttered aiming it at the plant in the corner and stood back in awe as it exploded, I took that device off and tried the other one, it lit up I pointed it a things and it didn't do anything until I pointed it at my arm, I could see my bones through the skin, I focused on the break and watched as it repaired itself, then I moved to the gunshot wound, it took a lot more work I felt woozy and got the device off and put it back into the safe before passing out on the floor.

Please, Please please please review


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up later on a cold floor then remembering what happened I checked the clock about 3hours had passed and nobody had noticed, I got up and closed the safe making sure they were both in there, then I went to the control room where I had found Uncle George to work out what was going on, I arrived to see everyone in deep thought,

"Hey" I greeted them, Janet ran over

"Oh God Sam I'm sorry we totally forgot have you been waiting for us for all this time"

I was about to say no I've actually been unconscious on the floor but then figured I probably shouldn't have been playing with those things

"Yeah Sure" I offered, she gave me a suspicious look but turned her attention back to screen

"What is up?"

"Classified" Jack answered

"Whatev's" I replied,

"Samantha would you like to view the gym, perhaps have a workout" Uncle George offered

"Sure" I began to walk away with an airman when Janet yelled

"Stop, not with her shoulder and arm she could do a lot more damage" I blushed as everyone looked at my arm, which wasn't in its sling, nor with bandage instead perfectly healed skin,

"Sam what happened to your arm" she asked everyone looking at me

"Well it was the strangest thing, I was sitting in the commissionary when I was beamed up to a spaceship by aliens" I admitted, lying through my teeth, but in a place that has a glowing ring, transforms adults to teenagers and my dad has a snake in his neck anything was possible

"What colour was the alien" Jack asked, I desperately thought for an answer non forthcoming I guessed using the Roswell alien as my guide

"Like a grey brown colour" I was surprised when they all seemed to believe me

"The Asguard" Jack muttered I kept quiet not wanting to be found out

"What did they say?" Uncle George asked

"Um they said hi, and it was nice to meet me and they would work on getting me big again" I told them hoping that was the type of thing they would say

"Cool" Jack decided

"Who wants cake?"

"Wait I want to take some of Sam's blood to check if the coke is out of her system and just make sure everything is ok" Janet told them, I felt a wave of panic she knew!

"That's ok" I reassured her but she having non of it,

"We will meet you there" she decided dragging me away, when we were far enough she turned back to me

"Cut the bull Sam what happened?" she asked

"It was like I said" trying desperately, she wasn't buying it so I cut my loses, fessing up

"I got bored and went to have a look round someone showed me to the others me's lab and I saw the safe, I guessed the code and saw 2 gloves, I tried one on, it started glowing so I pointed it at the plant and it blew up, I took that off and put the other on, it glowed but didn't seem to work till I pointed it at me, then I could see my bones and when I thought about it I could see them being fixed" I explained hoping she wouldn't be angry

"Then…."

"I took it off"

"And…." Dammit she knew, how did hse know there was more

"I woke up on the floor" I admitted sheepishly,

"How long?" her face was impassive, I couldn't tell if she was angry

"Well about 3hours" I admitted

"Jesus, Sam" she hugged me, I pulled away surprised at her reaction, seeing my look she explained

"You were unconscious for 3 hours and nobody noticed I thought you would be upset"

"Huh no I'm kinda use to it, I mean nobody normally gives a shit so it's different to be here and have people care"

She hugged me again

"And we do care" she repeated, to make sure I knew, I found myself nodding repeating my mantra Carters don't cry

"Sam you ok?"

"Yeah fine" I blinked tears back, Carter's don't cry,

"Sam?" she questioned

"I'm not crying" I muttered

"It's okay to cry" she lied

"No it's not only weak people cry"

"Who told you that?" Janet asked angry

"My dad its one of the rules"

"Rules?" she questioned

"Yeah the 3 house rules, Carter's don't cry, quit or disobey orders"

"That seems unfair"

"If you want to live in the Carter house you have to follow those rules" I told her

"Sam with respect they are ridiculous it is perfectly normal to cry it can even be good for you"

"No you can't let anyone see your weaknesses" she looked even angrier

"Emotions aren't a weakness"

"Are too" i argued

"What would we be without emotions we wouldn't love, hate, we'd be like robots"

I thought about it, but couldn't get past the 14years of training my dad had installed

"Whatever, now vamp, did you want some blood"

"Vamp?" she questioned

"Short for Vampire"

"Whatever" she called back I rolled my eyes, she took my blood and we went to the commissionary, and got a large slice of cake and Jell-O blue of course

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	15. Chapter 15

Thank you for all the kind reviews long may they continue

Daniel started the conversation

"So Sam we have been looking at the device, we have let the Tok'ra know and they are reviewing it and some other allies, your dad is coming by tomorrow,"

"Ok" I said not really caring, dad had deserted me.

"Don't sound to enthusiastic"

"I'm not" I answered

"Dad will come do the awkward dad thing, give a pathetic pep talk then get called away and leave"

"He won't do that Sam"

"He isn't going to stay is he?" they all exchanging a look, then conceded my point

"So Sam, want to play me on my play station" Jack offered

"Sure" I replied getting up and following him to his room; inside we sat on the bed and began in a racing game,

"So Sam what is your dad like" he began

"Military, everything is military, folding socks the way he runs his life, he can't separate the 2" I told him

"Sam you know he loves you"

"He doesn't I'm an inconvenience as is Mark that's why he left, he didn't love us he loved mum"

"That's not true but sometimes you feel overwhelmed and scared and you just have to get away"

"Dad doesn't get scared"

"Everyone gets scared, he probably thinks he failed you and that he didn't want to screw your life up any more"

"Well he did, I lost my mum when she died then I lost everyone else even though they are still alive, they may as well be dead" I told him

"Do you ever wish you were?" he asked

"Sometimes" I whispered fighting the tears

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know, I don't want to die but sometimes I wonder if anyone would notice, or care"

"Sam people care about you"

"Like who? My dad who I haven't seen in 6months, Mark who frequently tells me to shut up and go away, my friends who dope me up on coke, great care network"

"What about us?"

"You don't really want me here, I mean you are only looking after me so I don't get in more trouble, Uncle George is doing it out of duty for my father"

"And Janet…" I flinched not sure I mean we had been getting on great but the jealousy of Cassie was still present

"She is nice" I muttered

"And…" he prompted

"Nothing"

"You sure"

"Its just that never mind" I trailed off

"No shoot" he offered I knew he wouldn't let it go

"I guess I'm a little jealous of Cassie, she has you guys and Janet"

"So do you"

"No, when I was injured shot she went to Cassie, when I woke up, all of you were with Cassie I went to my quarters and you stayed with Cassie, I just feel like I could have had a family but just missed out" I looked at the play station concentrating,

"Sam we are family it's hard for us though we remember the other you, and are having to adapt to you"

"I guess"

"Right kiddo lets eat"

"Yes Sir"

"Sam please I'm begging you Jack" I grinned

"Jack" I repeated giggling as he jumped excitedly round the room,

"Jack what are you doing" I asked

"Celebrating, you just helped me win $50 off Daniel" I was amused that I was important enough to put bets on

"Sir"

"Don't go back to that" he groaned

"What Sir"

"Ok you get $20 how is that"

"Great Jack" I grinned

"Let's find Daniel and collect our winnings" he took my hand and we went to Daniel's lab

"Danny boy"

"What"

"I am here to collect my winnings"

"Jack"

"Daniel"

"Tell him Sam"

"Tell him what Jack" I asked innocently

"See, see I told you" he yelled

"Ok here" Daniel shoved a wad of notes at him

"Um Jack" I reminded him

"Oh here Sam"

"You paid her" Daniel protested

"She threatened me"

"I did not"

"Did too"

"nuh uh"

"Uh huh"

"Children" Uncle George interrupted us, I blushed jack took it in his stride

"Sir did you want us" he asked

"Actually I reminding Sam to get to bed" I looked at the clock, it was 11pm

"Aww but"

"No go" he ordered reluctantly I went groaning as I did so

"Night Sam" they called I waved then bedded down for the night

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	16. Chapter 16

Meeting Jacob the one everyone has been waiting for...

The next morning I woke up today was the day I saw my dad, not sure if that was a good thing or not, I got dressed checking the clock, 8am, nobody had told me what time dad would arrive but it was breakfast time so I went to get grub, picking blue Jell-o and 2 slices of toast and went, seeing nobody I knew I went to a table in the corner, after I finished I decided to go and see uncle George hopefully he would be able to tell me when dad was getting here, so I made my way to the control room,

Arriving there were only a few technicians on duty so I went to his office, I heard my dad's voice and opened the door

"Dad" I asked nervously, as Uncle George left the room

"Sammie" he ran over and gave me a massive hug much to my surprise, he looked older but more at peace with himself

"Dad," I said trying desperately not to cry

"Yes Sammie"

"Why did you leave us?" I asked, he let me go out of his hug lifting, my chin so I made eye contact with his

"Sam" he stopped so I continued

"Why dad, was it cus you don't love us, was it me?" I asked I had to know the answer even if it meant heartbreak

"No Sam never, I love you and Mark so much" I could see he was puzzled for him this was behind him a memory, for me it was now, fresh

"I loved your mum and when she died I blamed myself, I felt hopeless like everything I did went to pot, I didn't want to ruin your life so I ran away, it was easier that way, I know I let you and your brother down but I'm here now and I won't ever leave you like that again" he promised,

"Really" I asked not really believing him,

"I promise Sammie"

I burst into tears sobbing into his shoulders, then pulled back feeling weak until I noticed he'd been crying too

"Carters can sometimes cry" he amended with a smile, I found myself giggling

"So Sam, how about me, you, Daniel, Jack, Janet, George, Teal'c and Cassie go to Jack's for a BBQ" he offered I nodded

"Great" he took my hand and we went to the surface meeting George who drove us to Jacks, Arriving Cassie took my hand dragging me to go and watch the Simpson's, which was a program abut yellow people, she seemed to find it funny, I found Lisa good, a genius in a dysfunctional family with a crap dad sounded familiar, anyway all to soon it was time to go back to base, George drove me dad and Teal'c back

Dad and I walked to my quarters where a extra bed was set up

"Thought I would camp with you tonight Kiddo" he told me, excitedly I nodded and went to the private bathroom to get showered and changed then I went back dad was still there but in some kind of internal debate

"Dad, Uncle George says you have a symbiote like I did once, which is why I feel tingly near Teal'c and you"

"Yes her name is Selmak, would you like to talk to her" he offered, I thought about it, I wanted more time with my dad but my curiosity was killing me

"Can I?" I asked he nodded and his eyes flashed

"Samantha I am Selmak of the Tok'ra it is nice to meet you"

"Thanks so you live in my dad?"

"I do"

"Wow is he like really annoying?" I asked thinking it would be really annoying

"Sometimes he can be very stubborn but let me tell you this he is very sorry for deserting you it is one of the things he regrets most in his life" I said nothing not yet ready to forgive him

"So are you a man or a woman?"

"I have no sexual characteristics however for the last thousand years or so I have inhabited mainly female hosts so I have mainly their characteristics"

"So your dad's feminine side" I giggled at the thought and dad smiled which was weird to see

"I guess I am, your father now wishes to speak to you he is worried about what we may say" I giggled again

"Now that's a sound I missed" he smiled wistfully,

"Well you haven't been around much" I muttered

"I know and I am sorry" he reminded me,

"Now young lady bed" he ordered I climbed in and he kissed me good night and I fell asleep pretty fast afterwards

That night I had some really weird dream some glowy guy Orlin was telling me to explore near the device I saw a tree that had been stuck by lightening and a square rock by a cave, inside was the key to making me big

I woke up remembering every bit of my dream, but I had one big question to ask myself did I want to become big again. I couldn't remember what it is was like to be big, and loved being small, I sat watching my dad sleep debating whether to tell him or not. The decision still weighed on my mind as he woke up

"Hey kiddo you been up long?"

"A little bit"

"Fancy breakfast"

"Sure" I went and got washed and changed then he got washed and changed before we went and got something to eat sitting and remembering stuff from the past like when Mark got lost in the fair.

"Right Kiddo I need to go and talk to George you want to come?"

"Actually I was wondering if I could go and see Teal'c" I asked thinking I could tell him in confidence and he would give me honest advice, which i didn't know if anyone else would, especailly Jack and Daniel who desperatly wanted big Sam back

"Sure I'll take you there" I grinned and followed him down the corridor

"I'll leave you here" he offered as we walked up to Teal'c's door

"Sure dad" suddenly feeling nervous I knocked

"Enter"

"Hey Teal'c"

"Samantha can I be of assistance?"

"Um yeah I need an honest opinion and I think you will give it to me"

"I will conceal no truths"

"Right, well I had a weird dream last night, there was this guy Orlin" his eyes grew wide, I got the feeling it wasn't my imagination

"He told me how to become big"

"Then where is your problem"

"I don't know if I want to become the other me, I mean who is she?" the conflict was clear, i couldn't remember being her so how did i know if i wanted to be her

"Samantha Carter was a brave warrior and a good friend; she was brave, intelligent and highly respected"

"Wow, I sound pretty cool" I sighed

"You were body temperature" he stated, I looked at him a giggled

"You're weird"

"I am Jaffa" he looked puzzled

"No it means you're not normal"

"If the standards of normal mean one has grown up on your planet and conforms to your social codes then yes I am weird" I giggled even further not able to stop, he had a glint i got the feeling he was deliberalty doing it but couldn't be sure, then sobered up at why I had come to talk to him

"So what should I do, if I tell then they may make me go back I dunno if I want to grow up"

"It is a decision only you may make but I may be able to show you what you were like as an adult" I thought about it, it couldn't hurt

"Ok but I don't want anyone else to know"

"Then it will be our secret" he got up

"Remain here" and then he left I sat wondering what he was up to but he soon returned with the TV thingy

"Daniel Jackson has a habit of videoing every mission" he pressed play and they appeared on screen

"This was a mission to visit the inhabitants of PY6 THG"

I watched myself joking and taking samples on screen, I looked like my mum. He was right I seemed so confident, and intelligent but did I want this?

"I still don't know, I mean I don't remember if I was happy, or anything. But I think I should do it, I mean it would be weird to be a kid now cus everything would be different and if I grow up it will be like its supposed to be" I nodded making my decision

"Then should we not proceed" Teal'c indicated the door I took a deep breath to steady my nerves

"Let's do this" we walked to the briefing room in silence when we got there everyone was already seated already in a meeting about me, I felt a flash of anger but ignored it

"I know how to change myself back" they looked at me surprised

"But we need to go back to the planet" Uncle George looked at me

"How do you know?"

"Last night I had a dream some glowy guy told me his name was Orlin" they exchanged a glance I had a feeling the name Orlin meant something

"Ok we will get a team, Sg1, Dr Frasier, Jacob and Selmak be ready in 30minutes" he got up and left, Janet came over

"Come on I'll help you gear up"

"You are sure about this Sam?" Dad asked

"Positive" I replied sounding a lot braver than I felt,

Within 20minutes we were ready Janet had made me wear BDU's that were too big so I looked ridiculous but when I grew back it would be safer,

The stargate activated and we stepped through I closed my eyes remembering the path Orlin had showed me, it was quite a way I could feel the doubting looks off everyone, but I saw the tree in the distance and jogged over ignoring the shouts of Colonel O'Neill

"This is it, it's nearby, a square rock"

"Danny we are looking for rock your speciality" Jack joked receiving a scowl off Daniel

"Sam is this it" Janet pulled back a bush

"Yes," I ran over uncovering the cave, it was smaller than I remembered, only Janet and I could squeeze in

"We will wait here" Jack relented

"Good luck kiddo" Dad hugged me

"Fair well Samantha, you made a wise decision" Teal'c followed hugging me again

"Bye Sam"

"Carter" I received 2 more hugs before crawling in

Inside it was obvious what I was meant to do there were 2 hand indentations on the wall

"Good luck Sam" Janet stood back whilst I took a deep breath and walked over, closing my eyes I pressed my hands against it, this was it.

Cliffhanger

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	17. last one

Last chapter

I could hear a voice calling me, I fought the fog,

"Sam, Sam can you hear me, wake up" recognising it I opened my eyes

"Janet what happened?" then the memories returned, I was 14, I looked at my hands hurriedly relieved to see they were my own 30year old hands

"Sam, do you remember what happened?"

"I think I had a nightmare in which I turned 14" I grimaced at her look, damn no dream,

"Um that wasn't a dream"

"Damn it, I was hoping" She grinned at me

"Pulse is normal; breathing is ok, feel like getting out of here?"

"Sure" she pulled me to my feet and we crawled out of the cave i got stuck in a few places

"That was easier when I was 14" I commented

"Sam" I was engulfed by 5 hugs

"Hey guys, dad"

"Carter my have you grown" Jack commented

"Sir shut up" I rolled my eyes I was back,

"Insubordination dad you heard that" Jack protested

"Heard what Jack" Jacob acted innocent

"Respect I get no respect" Jack complained

"Yes Sir" Sam agreed

"Now Jacob how did you deal with a 14year old Sam?"

"Trust me compared to when she was 4, and in the 'but why' stage it was a doddle" Jacob shuddered at the memories

"I can imagine"

"Trust me it was worse than that, the postman use to run away from Sam asking questions"

I blushed remembering some of the stories dad had told me, like when I took the toaster apart, or the oven, or the car

We were back at the gate by this point Daniel dialled earth, I took a deep breath steadying my thoughts

"Major good to see you back to normal"

"Yes Sir" I resisted the temptation to call him Uncle George which had become instinct

"Report to the infirmary Major"

"Yes Sir" I escaped from everyone's looks, following Janet down the corridor

"So Sam everything ok?" Janet asked concerned

"Yeh" I replied

"Just embarrassed"

"Why?"

"I was so hormonal at 14, but I wanted to thank you Janet I know I was really horrible to you"

"Sam its fine, everything is fine" I believed her, relaxing although the last few days had been different I knew one thing my friends would always stick with me.

The end

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Please, pretty please i want to know how i can improve, did you like it, was the ending ok it was so hard to write Sam at 30ish as i'm only 16, and don't know what it is like


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